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How To Find A Graduate Job: As Told By Stock Images

Job Search Graduate Jobs Funny

Ahh, the stock image... the breeding ground of unusual concepts, bad (and good) Photoshop-ing and incredibly exaggerated emotions. Sounds like the perfect place to find inspiration for your graduate job hunt...

1. Make use of tools

Always use a magnifying glass; some jobs are difficult to see. And dress like a Hogwarts student.

2. Never underestimate the advantage of height

If you can't find a job you like after just one google search, climb to the top of the tallest building in your city and use your binoculars to look. Also, don't face the city below, just look on the roof; you'll easily find a job.

3. Understand the market

Unbeknown to most, the majority of graduate roles are hidden in discrete boxes marked 'job' which are planted around your city. In order to get the job, you must find an opponent (preferably in heels) and both run at it from opposite directions. The best candidate will be chosen by the box once you both touch it. The other will be killed by Voldemort.

4. Use tried and tested methods

Unsure which job sector to choose? By pressing firmly on your temples, popular job titles will float around you and suddenly everything will become clear.

5. Make a good first impression

Just in case you're up against triplets for a job, bring in your unicycle and safety goggles to set yourself apart from the competition.

6. Get creative

Tired of job-hunting in your parents' living room? Feeling spontaneous? Well pack up a random assortment of desk items (a potted plant is essential), a plastic stool, then throw on your nicest suit and sit in the middle of a pedestrian bridge. Continue to shrug your shoulders until an employer approaches you and offers you a job.


7. Always try and show off your skills

Use you best grammer when write on envelopes. Also, don't bother with an address. If it's meant to be, a job will find you.

8. Learn to multitask

Binoculars? Check. Phone? Check. Shoes and socks off? Check. Damn, you're bound to find a job.

9. Don't follow the crowd

If you're the only candidate not urinating against the wall, you might just get the job.

10. Remember the personal touch

Sometimes all you need is a passport photo and a gold paperclip. Leave name blank.

Source: Deposit Photos

lizzi hart grb author

Lizzi Hart is the Social Media & Content Manager at the Graduate Recruitment Bureau (GRB). Outside of work, she enjoys reading, music, binge-watching TV and dreaming about the dog she'll one day own.

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