1. Hanging
NYE was fun and all, but this headache means you’ll probably never* drink again and you need all the junk food to make it through.*suuuuuuuuure.
2. Misery
Ugh. Can’t it just be Christmas still, when you could eat and drink all day and ignore your problems (aka your degree) in front of a festive film.
3. Homesickness
Back in your mouldy student room, fond memories of snuggling up on the sofa with your dog are all you have left.
4. Hunger
You shouldn’t have demolished all the Christmas leftovers before you left home. It looks like a rice and ketchup sort of month.
5. Distraction
Maybe you should plan what you’re going to buy with your Christmas ASOS voucher, or clock a decent 7 hours on FIFA to avoid the pain of facing your responsibilities.
6. Artic pressures
No human should have to revise a) this soon after Christmas, or b) in this miserable weather. Also your heating is set to 16 degrees because you’re a student with only microwave noodles to your name.
7. Plan
Wrapped in 7 layers, you begrudgingly plonk yourself in front of your desk and let out a deep sigh as you open a blank word doc entitled ‘revision plan’.
8. Plan 2.0
You decide after many hours of choosing an appropriate type face in Word, that Excel is probably going to be a better idea for revision planning. You over-enthusiastically prescribe 10 hours of revision a day in order to do it all in the 5 days you have till your exams.
9. Why am I like this??
One hour in, you’ve revised week one of your module (out of 12) and it’s time for a movie and snack break. You deserve it.
10. Cramming
Fudddddddge. Your exam is in two days and you’ve still got 21 lectures and seminars to revise. Time to speed things up.
11. Indifference
As always, in the final hours before your exam, you have lost the will to live and you no longer care about anything.
12. Last minute speed-reading
You hope that you have somehow developed super-human reading abilities and by just looking at your revision notes, you will absorb all the information you need.
You have not.
13. Anxiety
In just a few hours it will all be over, but of course, that’s the perfect time for anxiety to creep in. Cheers mate.
14. I have no idea what I’m doing
Am I writing quickly enough? Is my handwriting legible? How long do I have left? Did I write the correct candidate number? Will I accidentally give my course mate a 2:2? Does that mean I’ll get a first? Why is the adjudicator staring at me?
15. Alcohol
Put all the alcohol in my face. Right now.
16. …and repeat
One out of three exams done. You probably should have planned this a little better, you think, 5 pints into a pool tournament at the SU bar.
p.s. Best of luck from everyone at Graduate Recruitment Bureau!
